So, nowadays I feel bound by social law to state that I'm 'bisexual' (a term I hate - because it makes no sense. 'Bi' means consisting of two (bifocals, bicycle, binary) and thus is really better fitted to meaning intersex. What would be more accurate would be 'unisexual' as in 'intended for all sexes'). I easily fend off the ridiculous immediate reactions such as 'fancy a threesome?' and 'but you've never had sex with a woman' with ease. Admittedly much easier than I can explain that I'm physically inclined towards females but because I realise that someone who is physically female does not necessarily relate as female (such as myself) or indeed exhibit those sexist sort of female traits and interests (ditto previous), and have decided that for me, defining sexuality and gender is redundant because it bears no real relation to the human being it is being attributed to any more than going around labelling people as being "glasses-wearer"s and "non-glasses-wearer"s is.
Gender-wise, I relate more to being male, but it is something I am now aware of as being mostly a reaction to things I have seen and experienced. I don't like people acting like I'm vulnerable, or people flirting with me based solely on their interest in how I look, I don't like people telling me what clothes I should be wearing or that I'd 'look nice in make-up'. All things that come with being female. As a male you (please don't argue with this) have a better chance and getting a job after an interview (honestly, once somebody who interviewed me told a friend who worked for him that he didn't hear anything I said during the interview because he was only paying attention to "two things" about me). Being male you don't even HAVE those ridiculous two things right there in everybody's eyeline somehow giving them a right to judge you. There may be penis envy, but you don't have to go around with them in plain sight!
I used to say I considered myself male based on how logically and literally I think. About how I find it hard to be in touch with emotions and express them, that I get frustrated at 'small things', that I can't multitask (especially when it involves communication), don't have to ability to read facial expressions or tone of voice and everything in my head ends up in some kind of pie chart, line graph and spreadsheets (which do tend to manifest physically). But you may have worked out that those are just some of my most identifying autistic traits, and although they are regularly attributed to "men", will obviously be significantly symbolic of autism in either sex. For example my dad is definitely "male" and definitely not autistic, since he loves to make spontaneous plans and gets irritated and confused when these plans inevitably upset me or are halted because "I'm doing the washing up at 2". But he does suck a bit and telling how people are feeling, and he can't always anticipate people's reactions to things he says or does.
I suppose the point of me writing this down was, well, primarily to get it out of my head because I just can't read about something so close to my 'heart' and have it just float away before I go to bed. But also to give people the chance to think about how gender and sexuality are really just social constructs that we have formed based on a mixture of things such as reproduction, religion, social ideals, but most forgettably, tradition.
There are smaller things in our own lives that lead to change. In the way we live, think and act. But human beings as a whole seem to reject and deny change almost obsessively, very defensively, even though our minds are made to be constantly learning and doing and thinking new things. We are a culture of "what we're doing may not be working, but I'd rather not try something else in case the outcome is worse", and I think that is why gender and sexuality is becoming such a hot topic now. Because people who do not fit into black and white male and female roles, identities and physiologies are having chance to speak out, and everyone who does fit into those categories (either naturally or because society has formed them that way), are aggressively denying that anybody could be different, or that these people need to be accounted for. When you think about things as little as how basically every form you fill out will only have "male" and "female" checkboxes, with no explanation if this is asking about your psychological, biological or physical sex. To leading you to think about why we need the damn checkboxes in the first place. Unless I'm going for a genital examination, you do not need to know what "sex" I am. It just comes from people not wanting to change those forms because that's how it's always been.
Even some forms where you can reject to disclose your enthicity (basically, situations where it isn't important, but they'd like to know so they can keep tabs on people), you still cannot 'prefer not to say' your gender. Aren't we supposed to be able to think of things like this on a bigger scale? Doesn't building a society based on acceptance just grow a much healthier existence? Even blissful ignorance is to be desired.
Pigeons and rats are the most successful creatures in Britain. And many other places of the world where they thrive. They are both species that overrun areas they live, often becoming pests and gaining bad favour with humans. But look at what they do right. They tolerate each other as a default, because it welcomes a flourishing community. Putting down your peers does not gain yourself favour, only by pushing other people down does it make you seem higher in comparison (and being better than everyone else is absolutely something we are taught to desire, as we are assured that this is the only way we can discover self-worth). Yes, it may primarily work in these animals to increase numbers (and by gosh we don't need any more humans), but if you have plentiful food, an adequate nest and don't resort to fighting with everybody at every turn unless absolutely necessary, then it enables a simpler life where you can actually focus on things that benefit yourselves, and others as a whole.
I know there will always be a conversation on gender (especially when I'm around!), though I'd love to change the world. I just want everybody to know that how everybody else defines you defines who they are more than anything else. So if people want to smack you in "male" and "female" boxes, it shows their lack of understanding and/or acceptance. Perhaps they need to be enlightened, and perhaps if they reject that, then those toxic people need to leave your life. But you, people, need to know that you are nothing less than what you wish to be. And no label, gender or otherwise, should ever hold you back.